My entire blog could be about the situations I get into with Bowen. It could go in depth on how I handle (or don't) all the things that come up with this kid. Bowen is the love of my life..and also my mini me. He acts JUST like me. He is dramatic (and I don't think I am dramatic at all...but it has been said that I am) and loud and yells and likes to be naked. All I really know is that the kid and I butt heads...alot. So obviously not every temper tantrum is handled perfectly. And it also means that I sometimes say or do the wrong things.
The following are just a few times that my mothering skills have been...shall we say...a little off that day.
Bowen was being incredibly horrible one night during bath time. He refused to get in the bathtub for like ten minutes. So I picked his kicking, screaming, flailing ass up and sat it in the tub, which then made him stand up and start throwing toys at me. After two verbal warnings resulting in more toys being thrown I decided a spanking was the best choice here. (believe me...I don't spank that hard, and he didn't even FLINCH when it happened..so don't go getting all crazy on me!) After I swatted his butt he looks at me SO mad his face would have melted a pic of an angel and yelled (while pointing his chubby index finger at me) "YOU NO HIT ME MOMMY!" and then threw the last two toys on the ground. At this point I was pissed and on the verge of tears..and clueless as how to handle this. And anyone with kids KNOWS that you have exactly 2.5 seconds to get your shit under control and properly handle this situation. So I picked him up, dried him off, put him in a diaper while telling him why he got a spanking and that he cannot talk to mommy like that. He wasn't crying or whimpering. Just laying there letting me talk and get him ready for bed. And then he got up and gave me a hug and said, "I WUV you mommy!" UGHH! Gets me every time. Then asked me for a cookie. ((I got him the damn cookie and read him a story and put him in bed...then ate 3 cookies myself))
Ohh...this one is even better. When Jason and I had just moved in together, Bowen had gotten some new Thomas toy made out of lego type things so you had to put it together. It was early morning on a Saturday or Sunday so we were all laying in my bed and talking and playing. And Bowen started whining about the effing Thomas. (I had not yet had my Diet Pepsi...so I blame my lack of caffeine for what happened next) Jason and I both tried to fix it the way he wanted us to and it didn't work. More whining and crying began. So after I put it together AGAIN and he started his temper tantrum I picked up the Thomas and threw it across the room where it smashed into pieces on the wall. It makes me crack up thinking about Jason and Bowen's faces at that moment. Bowen did not throw a fit and Jason said, "Well...I don't know if that was the most effective way to handle that situation." So this my friends is my example of how NOT to handle a situation. I should have just put the toy up and said no and then let him scream and cry for five minutes. That is what I SHOULD have done. BUT NO mom is perfect and we all have our moments. And that was mine. So eff off all you haters who are thinking, "Oh I would NEVER do that!" Either you haven't had a kid or you are lying to yourself.
Bowen really loves the iTouch. And sometimes I really love it too. If I need him to sit on the potty chair, I let him play it. If we are out to eat and he is restless, he plays it. If we are driving and I am having one of those, "Do NOT make me pull this car over!!" moments, he usually gets the iTouch first. So you get the point. He loves it and sometimes gets the damn thing. The other night I was cleaning the kitchen and doing chores and he asked me for a drink. I told him to hold on just a second. Then he asked again...and again I told him to hold on just a second. Probably 30 seconds passed and he said, "MOMMY You get me a drink right now or I take the iPod away!!" Pretty sure the kid had his hands on his hips too! So I was surprised..and got him the drink. I gave into the little shit!! AND let him yell at me!! AND threaten me!! But I couldn't help but laugh at him and maybe I shouldn't have let him get away with it...but how can you say no when someone is threatening to take away your iPod???
In a previous post I mentioned how much longer potty training has added to our normal getting ready schedules. Well this morning I had to be at work a few minutes early. Oh yea..and I overslept. So I quickly got ready and went to get Bowen up. Getting Bowen up is a challenge. Ever since he was a newborn he has this routine where he stretches for like 30 minutes and lays there and stretches and lays there. If your DARE wake him up you are in for WWIII in your own home. And this morning...I HAD to do it. So I went and snuggled him and played our waking up game (which usually works). This morning, he did not give a flying eff if the spider was climbing up his arm or not, he didn't want to watch Veggie Tales or Blues Clues or Thomas, he didn't want a cookie or chocolate milk, he just wanted to sleep. So..I picked him up and took him to the living room (where a show was already on). He didn't want this show so I asked him 6 times what he wanted to watch while he got ready. Anything I mentioned was cut off with a NO! After going through this 20 times (and watching the clock tick by) I had had enough. So I threw the remote down and took off his diaper. Which was NOT what he wanted. (Go figure) He grabbed his pee filled diaper and tried to put it back on and I fought back by trying to tear it away from him. While we both yelled at eachother. THEN I asked him to sit on the potty chair. He was not having it. When 5 minutes passed of me begging and pleading for him to sit down and pee I decided whatevs kid...get in the undies. But he didn't want any of the undies I showed him. After going back and forth atleast a dozen times I decided I didn't give two shits and put him in Spidermans and let him scream and kick. Got him dressed. And THEN offered a cookie, which made him VERY happy. (Thank sweet baby Jesus!) Then we got in the car and went on our merry way. Should he have gotten the cookie? Hell no. But did I need to leave? Obviously! So I gave in and didn't do what I should have. Once again...hate all you want...you either haven't had a kid so you don't know what I am talking about or you are lying to yourself.
The fact is kids don't come with a manual. And they know how to push your buttons. They know when you are stressed, upset, PMSing..and sometimes they use this to their advantage. And sometimes you are going to loose your cool for a second. And it is ok! (as long as you don't seriously hurt your kid...and remember that words cannot be taken back!) We are only humans and being a parent is a learning experience. I don't know what is going to happen in the future with Bowen or how I am going to handle every situation. I would love to think that I know what he will do and how I will handle it, but I don't..and I am sure there will be plenty of years of me throwing things at walls (they might go from Thomas' to Xbox controllers though) and there is definitely going to be more yelling. All I know for sure is that I love Bowen with all of my heart and soul and every night he tells me that he loves me..and that is what I am shooting for. (oh and for him to be a happy, law abiding, do gooder of a citizen when he is an adult)
The following are just a few times that my mothering skills have been...shall we say...a little off that day.
Bowen was being incredibly horrible one night during bath time. He refused to get in the bathtub for like ten minutes. So I picked his kicking, screaming, flailing ass up and sat it in the tub, which then made him stand up and start throwing toys at me. After two verbal warnings resulting in more toys being thrown I decided a spanking was the best choice here. (believe me...I don't spank that hard, and he didn't even FLINCH when it happened..so don't go getting all crazy on me!) After I swatted his butt he looks at me SO mad his face would have melted a pic of an angel and yelled (while pointing his chubby index finger at me) "YOU NO HIT ME MOMMY!" and then threw the last two toys on the ground. At this point I was pissed and on the verge of tears..and clueless as how to handle this. And anyone with kids KNOWS that you have exactly 2.5 seconds to get your shit under control and properly handle this situation. So I picked him up, dried him off, put him in a diaper while telling him why he got a spanking and that he cannot talk to mommy like that. He wasn't crying or whimpering. Just laying there letting me talk and get him ready for bed. And then he got up and gave me a hug and said, "I WUV you mommy!" UGHH! Gets me every time. Then asked me for a cookie. ((I got him the damn cookie and read him a story and put him in bed...then ate 3 cookies myself))
Ohh...this one is even better. When Jason and I had just moved in together, Bowen had gotten some new Thomas toy made out of lego type things so you had to put it together. It was early morning on a Saturday or Sunday so we were all laying in my bed and talking and playing. And Bowen started whining about the effing Thomas. (I had not yet had my Diet Pepsi...so I blame my lack of caffeine for what happened next) Jason and I both tried to fix it the way he wanted us to and it didn't work. More whining and crying began. So after I put it together AGAIN and he started his temper tantrum I picked up the Thomas and threw it across the room where it smashed into pieces on the wall. It makes me crack up thinking about Jason and Bowen's faces at that moment. Bowen did not throw a fit and Jason said, "Well...I don't know if that was the most effective way to handle that situation." So this my friends is my example of how NOT to handle a situation. I should have just put the toy up and said no and then let him scream and cry for five minutes. That is what I SHOULD have done. BUT NO mom is perfect and we all have our moments. And that was mine. So eff off all you haters who are thinking, "Oh I would NEVER do that!" Either you haven't had a kid or you are lying to yourself.
Bowen really loves the iTouch. And sometimes I really love it too. If I need him to sit on the potty chair, I let him play it. If we are out to eat and he is restless, he plays it. If we are driving and I am having one of those, "Do NOT make me pull this car over!!" moments, he usually gets the iTouch first. So you get the point. He loves it and sometimes gets the damn thing. The other night I was cleaning the kitchen and doing chores and he asked me for a drink. I told him to hold on just a second. Then he asked again...and again I told him to hold on just a second. Probably 30 seconds passed and he said, "MOMMY You get me a drink right now or I take the iPod away!!" Pretty sure the kid had his hands on his hips too! So I was surprised..and got him the drink. I gave into the little shit!! AND let him yell at me!! AND threaten me!! But I couldn't help but laugh at him and maybe I shouldn't have let him get away with it...but how can you say no when someone is threatening to take away your iPod???
In a previous post I mentioned how much longer potty training has added to our normal getting ready schedules. Well this morning I had to be at work a few minutes early. Oh yea..and I overslept. So I quickly got ready and went to get Bowen up. Getting Bowen up is a challenge. Ever since he was a newborn he has this routine where he stretches for like 30 minutes and lays there and stretches and lays there. If your DARE wake him up you are in for WWIII in your own home. And this morning...I HAD to do it. So I went and snuggled him and played our waking up game (which usually works). This morning, he did not give a flying eff if the spider was climbing up his arm or not, he didn't want to watch Veggie Tales or Blues Clues or Thomas, he didn't want a cookie or chocolate milk, he just wanted to sleep. So..I picked him up and took him to the living room (where a show was already on). He didn't want this show so I asked him 6 times what he wanted to watch while he got ready. Anything I mentioned was cut off with a NO! After going through this 20 times (and watching the clock tick by) I had had enough. So I threw the remote down and took off his diaper. Which was NOT what he wanted. (Go figure) He grabbed his pee filled diaper and tried to put it back on and I fought back by trying to tear it away from him. While we both yelled at eachother. THEN I asked him to sit on the potty chair. He was not having it. When 5 minutes passed of me begging and pleading for him to sit down and pee I decided whatevs kid...get in the undies. But he didn't want any of the undies I showed him. After going back and forth atleast a dozen times I decided I didn't give two shits and put him in Spidermans and let him scream and kick. Got him dressed. And THEN offered a cookie, which made him VERY happy. (Thank sweet baby Jesus!) Then we got in the car and went on our merry way. Should he have gotten the cookie? Hell no. But did I need to leave? Obviously! So I gave in and didn't do what I should have. Once again...hate all you want...you either haven't had a kid so you don't know what I am talking about or you are lying to yourself.
The fact is kids don't come with a manual. And they know how to push your buttons. They know when you are stressed, upset, PMSing..and sometimes they use this to their advantage. And sometimes you are going to loose your cool for a second. And it is ok! (as long as you don't seriously hurt your kid...and remember that words cannot be taken back!) We are only humans and being a parent is a learning experience. I don't know what is going to happen in the future with Bowen or how I am going to handle every situation. I would love to think that I know what he will do and how I will handle it, but I don't..and I am sure there will be plenty of years of me throwing things at walls (they might go from Thomas' to Xbox controllers though) and there is definitely going to be more yelling. All I know for sure is that I love Bowen with all of my heart and soul and every night he tells me that he loves me..and that is what I am shooting for. (oh and for him to be a happy, law abiding, do gooder of a citizen when he is an adult)
Not sure how helpful this will be, since this was posted last July, but my son (Jacob, 6 years old) can be very stubborn in the mornings as well. I found that if he picks out what wants to wear the night before (and I am talking from shirt and pants, down to undies and socks) he is much more likely to put it on when he is having a bad morning. Of course, the same thing doesn't work with every kid, but if it does, it will be well worth it! :)
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