Well, 2 of the 3 people in our home are currently MVP's on their selected sports teams. (Maybe only MVP's in their minds, but that is neither here nor there) Bowen is currently kicking ass on his soccer team. And I am showing them how we do it on my softball team. (Ok..well...that may be debatable, but this is my blog so suck it) Below our are stories of success. (sorta)
BOWEN "The Slayer" HOLMES
So I decided Bowen needed to start sports, he is the ripe old age of 3 now. I signed him up for soccer (actually thought it was FALL soccer, but here we are soccer-ing it up in the heat of July) and it has been a roller coaster..as is everything with this child. Our first practice went...well? Bowen did not like being told what to do or how to do it or when to do it. (dunno who he gets that shit from) He also did not like Jason paying attention to other kids. And Jason is the coach...so obviously that is a problem. Basically he cried and threw a zillion fits on his first..and second practice. But last Friday he had a change of..heart, attitude...something. He did badass! He was kicking and dribbling (they do dribble in soccer, right?) and making goals!! I was one PROUD mama!! And our first game was Saturday so I had high hopes. I should have known better.
Game day arrived. Mommy overslept. It was Saturday for God's sakes and our game was at 8!! Who the eff decided that was ok? SOME people have kids who LIKE to sleep past 8 and their non-stay at home mommy's appreciate this, especially after working 40 hours. Anyways, the morning was a clusterf**k and chaotic effing mess. Me and Jason got annoyed with eachother (even his attitude was weird..not his usual chipper, annoying self) And Bowen did NOT want to leave so soon. He still wanted his 30 minutes of lounging on the couch and watching cartoons. We got out of the house with tears. Shoulda known it was NOT going to go well. Anyways, we make it to the field and he is stoked. He goes out and starts kicking the ball and I think ok ok this will be ok. Until they take his ball away and try to tell him we had to SHARE a ball. (share is not part of this kid's vocab) The rest of the game was spent with him in tears and howling like a wounded animal. By half time he had his shoes and socks off and was content sitting at my feet listening to me tell him to shut it, in numerous different ways. (seriously I can only listen to his crying and whining for so long) ((AND it was a rough morning)) (((AND I didn't bring my diet pepsi, so there was ZERO caffeine running through my veins))) Anyways, he decides he wants to play so I quickly get his shoes on him and push his little ass onto the field. And he starts crying. Ughh. I yell at Jason who grabs his kid and carries his heavy ass around the field for 10 minutes. And it was ATLEAST 93 degrees outside. SO...Bowen was NOT the mvp that day. He definitely was NOT getting a game ball that day. (does that only happen in football?) And once again...I feel like I wasted 120 bucks. Nice.
SARAH "Bruiser" HOLMES
So once upon a time I was a softball playing bad ass. I always played short stop or second. And was pretty damn good. Anyways, recently I asked one question about our office softball team and was told I was on the team so I was like eff it whatever. Jason bought me a CUTE pink glove and was really supportive. So our first game he was out of town and I could only make it to the second one. (Oh yea..we have double headers every Monday) I actually made it for the last few innings of the first game and somehow caught a ball and got an out. Everyone was surprised and shocked. Including me. I kinda should have caught the ball and immediately thrown it so we could get another out. Instead I acted like a tool and stared at the ball in my glove and did a happy dance. So embarrassed right now. Anyways, I didn't have cleets yet and my super cute New Balance's were not holding up. I went for a ball and slid and scraped up my knee and shoulder and hip. Then I went for another one and slid and scraped the other leg. Thankfully no one noticed my sloppy playing due to afformentioned out. I was pretty proud of myself. (and then the next morning I felt like I had been seriously beaten)
Tonight was our second games. I got to make it to both. (It was like 104 degrees out for the first one...did I mention I don't do well in the heat?) I played like shiiiiiiiiit. I am very pissed at myself. First game I take a ball to the knee, which pops up and it hits me in my (HUGE haha) boob. And I didn't even get the guy out. I was embarrassed, but the stitches from the ball were visible in my immediately bruised knee...which was kinda impressive. THEN I take a ball to the ankle. WTF Sarah!! Ughh...now I am extremely pissed at myself. And it hurt like a bitch. AND I was immediately bruised again. Anyways, I did ok batting. And luckily nothing really came my way again.
Needless to say I wasn't getting any MVP awards tonight either. It just pisses me off when I KNOW I can do better and then I suck it up. I mean really...I am better than that. All I can say is..atleast I kept playing. That HAS to count for something, right? I guess we will see next Monday if the team thinks that way...I will either have my normal 2nd base position or will be in the outfield picking flowers. ((PLEASE don't stick me in the outfield...I just need ONE more chance!!!))
At the end of the day I can't be mad at Bowen. He didn't ask to play soccer. I am 100% sure the kid would be FINE if we never took him to another practice or game. So that is my fault. (add to the mom guilt list) And, as for me, I have been told that everyone has an off game. (I don't handle excuses from anyone very well) Whatevs...THIS is where I will begin teaching (from showing) my wonderful boo-boo Bowen that as long as you go out there and TRY, then that is all that matters. It isn't who wins or loses (unless you have money on the game) it is how you play it. (Or maybe how many balls hit your body parts...in a totally non-sexual way)
Teaching your kid by showing sucks ass. Here (lifts water bottle) is to 15 years of this. (shit)
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