I'm Turning Into My Parents

((Above is a pic of Bowen and my mom...getting ready for Bowen's third birthday party...looks like Nana said something bad!!))

You know how when you grow up your parents say shit that doesn't really make sense. Or it made sense, but just seemed stupid. But most importantly, you vowed you would NEVER say that or do that. THEN you become a parent and it slowly starts happening.

Here is a little glimpse into what I am talking about:

There is: "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." Here is the problem, obv something made me cry to begin with so you won't be making me be quiet if you spank me and really give me something to cry about. As a child it didn't make sense...but now as a mother, I understand WHY they said this.

Or: "You'll do it and like it." OR "You'll eat it and like it." Pretty sure NOTHING is going to make me LIKE picking up dog poop. And no matter how much cheese you put on a brussel sprout, its still disgusting. Just saying.

And then: "Because I said so" also interchangeable with "Because I am your mom/dad". I don't give a damn if you are the king of frikkin England, it did not make me feel any less pissed off when my parents said this shit. (this became used more often when I was a teen)

And who could forget: "Someday you'll thank me for this" Alright...some times I do understand why they did the things they did...but not always. Like NOT allowing me to walk to Rosa's from the movie theatre. I still don't get it. And after a while I just did it anyways, then hauled ass back to the movies before my mom or dad could arrive.

Anyways...I am now a parent..and I have begun to say things that I am sure my parents said to me. ((Even the "I'll give you something to cry about" thing)) Seriously..kids are obnoxious and know how to push buttons. Even Jason says some shit...but what Jason says drives me nuts. Like I want to pick up whatever is near me (a crayon, toy car, knife...whatever) and throw it at him when he says this one thing...."Do you understand?"

You're probably saying, "What's wrong with that?" Let me get into detail. Now he tells Bowen this ALL the time. Like he can be telling Bowen that we are going to go to the store and when we get back he can watch Dora the (annoying as hell) Explorer. But he says it in this tone that is like nails on a mother loving chalkboard. I have told him 2o5834908530968 times that I hate it beyond belief...that it sounds like he is talking to Bowen like Bowen is a complete moron (which he is not). So let me tell you what happened this weekend.

Yesterday I was sleeping in (Jason slept in the day before) and when I woke up Bowen came into my room and was talking to me. He was telling me some story, no idea what it was really about, and then said, "And Jason said, 'Do you understand?' "...omg I lost it...of course I was laughing, but then I was like Jason thats not cool. Now Jason says its because Bowen responds to him that way..like he gets it. I tell him that he can say "ok?" or "Got it?" and it would seem MUCH nicer and less condescending. Jason argues and argues...so I just told him that it can't continue to be in that condescending tone forever, Bowen is 3 right now, but when he is 8 and Jason does that, I wouldn't blame Bowen throwing a right hook at him. Because it makes me want to throw a right hook FOR him.

But then there was this on Saturday. Bowen is all boy. And when I say all boy I mean ALL. BOY. As in he wants to fight everyone (playfully of course, but he packs a punch) and wanted to be a PENISeratops dinosaur last night and thinks its hilarious to stick pretzel sticks up his nose. The point is...sometimes threatening to beat him works when he is misbehaving. So this is what happens...Bowen repeatedly misbehaves and I try a break (aka a time out) or something and then he crosses the line and I say, "Bowen if you do that again I am going to bust your ass." I can count on one hand the number of times he has actually received a spanking after that has been said.

Well Saturday Bowen was ridiculously hyper. He was running from his bedroom, into the living room and jumping on us, then running back to do it again. And all of a sudden, from my baby's mouth comes, "I gonna bust your ass!!" Jason starts cracking up and gets up to leave. Being the (professional, smooth-in-a-time-of-crisis) mommy that I am, I put on my serious face and tell Bowen that he is not old enough to say that...that only mommy's and daddy's can say that.

I never thought I would think that I would once say that I am turning into my parents..but I might be. Pretty sure my dad told me he would bust my ass...and I am SURE he has told 1...or all...of his kids that they can't say something because they are not grown ups yet. (Some day I will tell you the story of my littlest brother re-enacting a scene from Saving Private Ryan with his army men) Now if we could just work on Jason's sayings...his suck. Mine...pretty damn memorable. (and funny when repeated)