Eff YOU, Monday!!

It has been a Monday. Like the Monday of all Monday's. Like I don't just have a case of the Monday's, but this Monday effing attacked me.

Remember how when you were little and you had been on Thanksgiving or Christmas break and you stayed up late and slept in and maybe even took a nap since you were out of school? Then the Sunday before school started your mom made you go to bed early (or atleast on time) because you had to be up early and get back on your schedule? Remember this?? Well...it happened to me last night. Me and J have been staying up late (watching CMT...I am pretty sure someone poisoned me and this is my reasoning behind the CMT watching) and B-Nasty had been staying up later and sleeping in. Which was FAB. Until last night. Bowen went to bed on time, with no fight. I went to bed at 9:30 (don't judge me..my plan was to get up before 6 and go to the gym), but of course...couldn't sleep. And then when I did sleep I was waking up ALL the time. So...I am working on, like 4 hours of sleep.

Then at 5:30 this morning the elephant of an upstairs neighbor clomped up and down the stairs 5 times. 5 times!!! This woke me up, as well as Bowen. So Bowen was rolling around, snuggling me, playing with my hair, stealing my covers, whispering. Anyways...I re-set my alarm to 6:20...due to my lack of sleepn the gym was not happening..and tried to ignore Bowen until I HAD to get up. The ignoring did not go so well, so really I got up at 5:30.

All was well until I tried to put my make up on. Of course, my new eye shadow was not as wonderful as I thought it would be. Then I sat my make up bag on the counter only for it to fall all over the ground. I tried to get dressed and after trying on 5 outfits, the first one 3 times, realized nothing was going to look good on these extra 5 pounds that I have gained. And thats when I noticed I had to pack Bowen's lunch, brush his teeth, get him dressed, and get us both out of the door in 5 minutes.

Bowen threw a fit when I told him he had to go potty and brush his teeth. This involved me taking the iPod he was so quietly playing. Which led to the tempter tantrum of 2010. I drug him into the bathroom and tried to brush his teeth while he gagged and retched bc he was crying and being a royal pain in the ass. He actually got dressed with no problem, but then we couldn't find his shoes. So the clock was ticking and I should have been leaving while Jason and I searched for shoes. Jason found them and Bowen took off...shutting himself in our bathroom. WTF. I get him dressed and we go to daycare. Just a few minutes behind schedule.

Bowen has been out of school for 9 days. And thats a lot for him. He hates the mornings and he ALWAYS always ALWAYS cries as soon as we get to school. So today was no different. He clung to my leg and bawled and bawled. And then when I sat him on the ground and tried to get him to play blocks he crawled under a table to cry. So I was like well..shit...what can I do? And got ready to leave, I turned around for one last look and this little shit of a 3 yr old ran to Bowen and ROARed at him. Like a dinosaur. This sent Bowen into a MASSIVE fit. Like with blood curdling cries. I wanted to go over to that kid and push him, face first, onto the ground. WTF kid?! I mean Bowen wasn't doing anything to him! BUT I sucked it up and walked out.

After that I needed a drink of Diet Pepsi. I pull the tab and it sprays everywhere. So there I was...in the preschool parking lot...with pepsi dripping down my mirror and in my hair, holding my hand out the window with a cold Diet Pepsi in it, while it finished spraying. Did I mention it was 37 degrees outside? I was pretty sure my hand was going to freeze to the can, like a tongue would freeze to an ice cold pole. (haha Just pictured the scene from A Christmas Story)

So...I needed a Diet Pepsi...and gas. I stopped at the convenience store and got gas and a much needed caffeine fix and was on my merry way. I plug in my iPod...and its being a touchy little biotch today. (You have to have the cable in it just a certain way or one speaker goes out and it has all this static...I need a new iPod) So I am fighting with the damn iPod all the way to work, trying to get my morning jam on so I can make it till lunch time. You see...if I don't get my morning jam, my mood is terrible.

I got to work and was taking my lunch to the fridge and reached in to find my apple. For a mid-morning snack, ya know? And it wasn't in there. I go to the car to see if it rolled out of the bag. No apple. WTF. So I left my triscuits, that are for my lunch mind you, at my desk, just in case. About 10 I grab a triscuit. It is hard as a rock. No shit. I might have broke a tooth on it. SO...not only was my snack gone, but my lunch wasn't going to work out either.

Anyways...the rest of the day has gone ok. I have a Pampered Chef party tonight. I have never been to one of these so I am not sure what to expect. And I need to go the gym...work off some steam...and bread and pumpkin pie. But that will just have to wait till tomorrow. Anyways, the day has gotten better, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am not a morning person. The days need to be a little gentler in the mornings and about 10 can come at me full force.

For My Stinky Monster

Do you ever have one of those days..or hours..or even just fleeting moments..where you get all sappy and rememberful (like that word? you can use it if you want)? So here is the deal..me and Jason were sitting on the couch watching CMTs 40 top songs of the decade. I know, I know..me watching CMT. As in COUNTRY music. Despite the fact that I am an obvious ass kicking, rock loving chick..I do like some country. BUT its once in a blue moon that I listen to it. However, tonight I was listening. And there were some really good songs on there. Songs that made me think of the past and the future.

For example...when I left my ex for the first time, I remember listening to "Jesus Take The Wheel" by Carrie Underwood on repeat. And anyone who knows the story of me and the ex will understand why it hit home. It only makes it more meaningful because she was heading home and had a baby in her car, just like me. Was it a really hard time full of heartbreak and chaos?Most definitely. But it happened for a reason, made me a better, stronger person. And that song will always mean something to me.

And if you're a parent and you've heard the song "You're Gonna Miss This" by Trace Adkins you have probably had that same little twinge in your heart that I got. Time flies by. I miss being able to hold Bowen for more than one minute. I miss the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled and walked. There are the times that seem to last forever (like teething), but really they go by SO fast.

Anyways...I am sitting at the kitchen table where Bowen ate lunch. There is nacho cheese smeared to my right and a picture that he drew right next to it. He is sleeping in the bedroom right behind me. And I know he is sleeping because I just went in there and laid next to him and watched him sleep. It amazes me how far me and that little guy have come.

Bowen was planned (and I was even married!! Give me some credit ya'll!) and he is my miracle baby. My first real memory of him was at the doctor's office. I was getting my first ultrasound and my mom was with me and there he was in black and white. And his yolk sac was right above his head which made him look like an angel. In fact that ultrasound says "angel baby" on it. I cried, my mom cried. And my whooooole life changed right then and there.

And of course there was the day he was born. There really is nothing like seeing and holding your baby for the first time. I hadn't even held him yet and I told my mom, "I would do it again in a heartbeat". And I would. There is definitely no love like a mother's love. And it only grows as your baby grows.

I know I have mentioned like a jillion times before how much Bowen and I are alike. It is SO true. Not only is he loud and obnoxious, but he hates mornings like me, he loves smooches and squeezes, he likes to snuggle, and he has a temper. The kid is my mini-me. (now he may not look like me, but I def got the better part of the deal) When I am sad, Bowen knows it. When I am happy, he feeds off that too. He can push my buttons though, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

What I can't believe is that he is already 3 1/2...going on 25. I can't believe he put his own shirt on today or asked me if the sun came up this morning. I swear it seems like yesterday that I was holding him for the very first time.

I'm not a very religious person, but I believe in God and I believe that things happen for a reason. And I think Bowen was put in my life at the time he was for a reason. I can't imagine where I would be without him. Bowen has been my only reason for getting out of be sometimes, more times than I'd like to remember. He was the reason I didn't give up and he was also the reason I threw in the towel when I did. He has been there when I have cried, he has been there when I have laughed. He has been there when I have hit rock bottom and he has been there when I have celebrated. Bowen may not ever realize how much he means to me, because I am pretty sure there is no way I can put those feelings into words. But I can promise this...I seriously don't think I could live without him.

So some day...if he ever reads this...I hope he gets a glimpse of just how much he means to me.

Happy Effing Thanksgiving!!!

All over Facebook there are people posting what they are thankful for. I don't want to waste a facebook post on something everyone is doing (facebooks updates are only for serious stuff! ;-) ) so I am going to waste..I mean use...my phenomenal blogging skills to tell everyone about all the awesome things that I am thankful for.

Here we go...

1. Diet Pepsi. Uhh..shut up..this is my blog. I can be thankful for DP. And let me tell you, Jason and Bowen are thankful for it too. I am a serious biotch without this brown, bubbly liquid in my system.

2. Electricity. Yep, seriously. I mean, can you imagine NOT being able to use a microwave, watch TV, plug the computer in so you can check fb or twitter..I mean..the news and weather?? I couldn't. Until we moved into our apartment this year..then I didn't have to imagine..it was a reality. And it sucked serious ass. We didn't have lights, heat, a way to cook a quick lunch. It was awful. (It lasted like 3 hours, but for reals, it was a looong 3 hours)

3. Disposable diapers. Now my baby is out of diapers (except for a pull up at night), but I did use them for 3 years. And I thanked buddha every time I changed one. There is no way in hell I would use a cloth diaper and have all that extra work involved.

4. The iPod. Ok not only does this effing amazing creation hold all my bad ass tunes, but it can also act as a mini-babysitter. Need your kid to stop throwing things at the table behind you during a dinner out? Put on a movie on the iPod. Is your child begging for your attention while to try to cook, clean, pee? Let him play a game on the iPod. Seriously..I would be lost without my iTouch.

What?? Sorry...didn't hear you.. You don't think these are serious enough things to be thankful for??? Oh. Well..hold on a second and I will see what I can do. (I am a people pleaser, what can I say?)

1. My baby boy. Duh. I am obviously thankful for him. He is my whooole wide world. I love him to pieces and would be a lost without him. (even though he wrecked my body and drains my bank account)

2. My family. My daddy had cancer two years ago and (thank God) is now in remission. You really don't realize how much your parents mean to you and how much you need them until something happens. I love my parents more and more every day and miss my brothers and sisters ALL the time. Friends may come and go, but family is here forever.

3. J-Watson. So the man drives me effing insane. Sometimes I want to punch him in the throat. BUT he has been there for me through a lot of shizz (even held my hand through a biopsy) and is a great dad to my evil monster of a child. And (if he ever figures out that I run this show) I see a happy and love-filled future with us all together.

4. Jason's family. If it wasn't for his mama pushing it, Jason would have never been driven to come check me out at the office. But more importantly, they have all been very loving and have made me and Bowen feel right at home. (I think they all like Bowen more than me, but whatever..I can pretend its because they think I am really amazing)

5. Friends. When I moved to Vegas I left the best friends a girl could ever have behind. And then it took me for-freakin-ever to make friends here. (Vegas sucks like that ya'll.) But the few true friends I have made are awesome. And I definitely appreciate my friends back home even more. So I am definitely thankful for the people I can call my friends.

6. The bad times. Lord knows I have been through some shit. But I wouldn't be the strong person that I am today if I hadn't gone through all the bad. So I am thankful I wasn't handed everything on a silver platter, that I had to work for what I wanted, that I got tough love, and all the other crap that no one wants to get into detail about. At the end of the day, even though I have a bad mouth and will beat a bitch down, I know that I am a good person.

So there ya have it, folks. In a nutshell..this is what I am thankful for. I mean, the first list could have gone on and on and on. I hadn't even gotten to how thankful I am for shoes! SO everyone have a very happy Thanksgiving and if you are travelling, be safe!

I'm Turning Into My Parents

((Above is a pic of Bowen and my mom...getting ready for Bowen's third birthday party...looks like Nana said something bad!!))

You know how when you grow up your parents say shit that doesn't really make sense. Or it made sense, but just seemed stupid. But most importantly, you vowed you would NEVER say that or do that. THEN you become a parent and it slowly starts happening.

Here is a little glimpse into what I am talking about:

There is: "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." Here is the problem, obv something made me cry to begin with so you won't be making me be quiet if you spank me and really give me something to cry about. As a child it didn't make sense...but now as a mother, I understand WHY they said this.

Or: "You'll do it and like it." OR "You'll eat it and like it." Pretty sure NOTHING is going to make me LIKE picking up dog poop. And no matter how much cheese you put on a brussel sprout, its still disgusting. Just saying.

And then: "Because I said so" also interchangeable with "Because I am your mom/dad". I don't give a damn if you are the king of frikkin England, it did not make me feel any less pissed off when my parents said this shit. (this became used more often when I was a teen)

And who could forget: "Someday you'll thank me for this" Alright...some times I do understand why they did the things they did...but not always. Like NOT allowing me to walk to Rosa's from the movie theatre. I still don't get it. And after a while I just did it anyways, then hauled ass back to the movies before my mom or dad could arrive.

Anyways...I am now a parent..and I have begun to say things that I am sure my parents said to me. ((Even the "I'll give you something to cry about" thing)) Seriously..kids are obnoxious and know how to push buttons. Even Jason says some shit...but what Jason says drives me nuts. Like I want to pick up whatever is near me (a crayon, toy car, knife...whatever) and throw it at him when he says this one thing...."Do you understand?"

You're probably saying, "What's wrong with that?" Let me get into detail. Now he tells Bowen this ALL the time. Like he can be telling Bowen that we are going to go to the store and when we get back he can watch Dora the (annoying as hell) Explorer. But he says it in this tone that is like nails on a mother loving chalkboard. I have told him 2o5834908530968 times that I hate it beyond belief...that it sounds like he is talking to Bowen like Bowen is a complete moron (which he is not). So let me tell you what happened this weekend.

Yesterday I was sleeping in (Jason slept in the day before) and when I woke up Bowen came into my room and was talking to me. He was telling me some story, no idea what it was really about, and then said, "And Jason said, 'Do you understand?' "...omg I lost it...of course I was laughing, but then I was like Jason thats not cool. Now Jason says its because Bowen responds to him that way..like he gets it. I tell him that he can say "ok?" or "Got it?" and it would seem MUCH nicer and less condescending. Jason argues and argues...so I just told him that it can't continue to be in that condescending tone forever, Bowen is 3 right now, but when he is 8 and Jason does that, I wouldn't blame Bowen throwing a right hook at him. Because it makes me want to throw a right hook FOR him.

But then there was this on Saturday. Bowen is all boy. And when I say all boy I mean ALL. BOY. As in he wants to fight everyone (playfully of course, but he packs a punch) and wanted to be a PENISeratops dinosaur last night and thinks its hilarious to stick pretzel sticks up his nose. The point is...sometimes threatening to beat him works when he is misbehaving. So this is what happens...Bowen repeatedly misbehaves and I try a break (aka a time out) or something and then he crosses the line and I say, "Bowen if you do that again I am going to bust your ass." I can count on one hand the number of times he has actually received a spanking after that has been said.

Well Saturday Bowen was ridiculously hyper. He was running from his bedroom, into the living room and jumping on us, then running back to do it again. And all of a sudden, from my baby's mouth comes, "I gonna bust your ass!!" Jason starts cracking up and gets up to leave. Being the (professional, smooth-in-a-time-of-crisis) mommy that I am, I put on my serious face and tell Bowen that he is not old enough to say that...that only mommy's and daddy's can say that.

I never thought I would think that I would once say that I am turning into my parents..but I might be. Pretty sure my dad told me he would bust my ass...and I am SURE he has told 1...or all...of his kids that they can't say something because they are not grown ups yet. (Some day I will tell you the story of my littlest brother re-enacting a scene from Saving Private Ryan with his army men) Now if we could just work on Jason's sayings...his suck. Mine...pretty damn memorable. (and funny when repeated)

Baby Fear...Not Fever

Way back when I was a wee little girl, running around in my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle house shoes, with my undies over my jeans, and my hair a tangled mess I dreamed of being a mommy. Not just any mommy, but a mommy who drove a mini-van and had 8 kids. Yes. 8. ((Ok now in all reality the afore-mentioned child was really like 4 years old..I should have described my 8-10 yr old self..but not nearly as cute or fun)) Fast forward to today....I am a divorced, mother of a 3.5 yr old, who drives a mommy mobile, but not a mini-van. And instead of 8 kids I am leaning on keeping the kid count to...1. Those of you who know me are probably gasping in horror..are completely confused...worried about my mental health. But before you call Jason or my mom and demand that someone take me to the hospital...hear me out.

So...there are LOTS of reasons for this huge change of heart. Would I LOVE to have another one. Fo sho. But....things have changed and I didn't live happily ever after and that makes me re-think my previous motherhood goals. Below is a list of a few reasons.

1. Bowen is 3.5 yrs old...so if I got prego TONIGHT, my kids would be 4 yrs apart. Which isn't horrible...but the fact of the matter is, there will be no baby making tonight. In fact, there will be no baby making for over a year...if not more. Which leads me to number.....

2. Jason and I aren't engaged. In fact..he has told me since we started dating (almost 2 yrs ago) that he would propose in 7 yrs. SO I've got 5 more years to go. And then the year it takes to plan the wedding. AND THEN...maybe we can discuss kids. So...seriously...we aren't having kids for atleast 2 years. (because supposedly he has a plan and it is sooner than 5 yrs) So my baby boy will be atleast 6 before I can even bless with him a sibling.

3. I am 8 years younger than my big sis. She didn't want me. In fact..she hated me. (not lying) We didn't get along or have anything in common until I was like 12...and even then its not like we could hang together. So now that I am 24, we have a good relationship. I mean..I think it got good when I was like 19 or 20. Anyways the point is, if you space your kids out too much they won't be close...and I do NOT want that for my kids. I know how much it sucked. And it sucked a lot.

4. I love Bowen a lot. Like so much its crazy. He and I are SO close, its been just me and him from the beginning. Plus he is kind of a little miracle. (not in the way that ALL babies are miracles, but like I shouldn't have been able to have the kid) He and I have the same personality, we act the same, sleep the same...etc etc...so I don't know if I could ever love anyone as much as I love him. Every mom tells me that this is totally untrue...but it does worry me.

5. And then there is the split home situation. I know if I do ever have other kids that I will figure this out and worrying/thinking about it right now is not doing me any good. But I worry how Bowen will handle everything. Like will he be upset that he has a different last name than the other kids? Will he be upset that he has a different dad? If his dad ever starts seeing him, how will he feel about missing weekend stuff? Like I said...I know its not doing me any good to worry about it now, but thats my nature. (so kiss my ass)

6. And...to be a little vain...umm...I just recently (like a year ago...maybe close to 2 now) got my body back into semi-decent shape. I mean when I was pregnant with Bowen I was huge. LIKE A WHALE. I never thought I was that big and kept thinking that the reason people were giving me these pitiful looks was bc I didn't have my wedding ring on and I looked young. (uhh..it didn't fit...not because I didn't want to wear the gorgeous thing) Come to find out, it was because I was ginormous and looked like I was about to pop out 3 kids at the same time. So umm yea...

Ok the truth is...I would love more kids. I think having a baby is an awesome thing. I think Jason deserves to have one of his own and get to experience all the morning sickness and mood swings and weird cravings. And I want Bowen to have a sibling. And I love babies. All of them...but...as you can see...its not always as easy as a fun rumble in the bedroom..and viola! A baby. I think Jason is getting worried because of my change of heart...but I mean..maybe I just need some positive vibes sent my way...or to hold a new baby...or an accident. Just saying!!!!

The Shit My Kid Says/Does

There is a guy on facebook and twitter that posts all the random crap his dad says. In fact, its called 'The Shit My Dad Says'. Love the guy...its HILARIOUS. A lot of times... I feel like that. The stuff Bowen tells me is so weird and random sometimes that if he hadn't included a shit or damn I might think it was someone else's kid. So here are some of our random moments as of late.

Last Saturday Jason, Bowen, and I went to lunch with Jason's college roomie, Nate. I had never met Nate before so I was TRYING to make a good impression. (of course, this did not work out) So we are at the table and me and Bowen are drawing, playing trains, the usual. He stands up on the chair and lifts his shirt and says, "Mommy, I have boobs?" So maybe boobs is not the right term, but how do you explain that he has pecs or whatever? I just said yes. THEN he grabs my shirt and starts pulling it down (AND it was a v-neck..so hello...) and says, "Mommy, you have boobs?" I said yes as I was frantically trying to pull my shirt up. (Not that there is a lot to see..hello A-cup) And he GRABS a boob and says, "Right there?!" Uhh yes kid..thats a boob. Thanks for pointing it out. I was able to distract him and no more boob talk happened that night. But so much for the good first impression.

Tuesday night Bowen and I were laying in my bed reading books. So we were laying in bed reading about the monster under the bed when he stopped me and said, "Mommy..I have boogies." Alright...I got him a kleenex and tried to get him to blow his nose. I was told that you don't do it like that. THEN he stuck his little finger up his little nostril, picked a boogie, and wiped it on my arm! (all in like 1.375 seconds so I couldn't even react!) I freaked out and told him NOT to wipe his boogies on me and tried looking for the kleenex that magically disappeared all while gagging and saying gross. He thought it was HILARIOUS.

Wednesday night Bowen and I needed to go run an errand. I had my hands full of crap and he wanted me to carry him. So I said no, started walking, he got pissed and stood at the front door. I threw everything into the car and went back to get him. When I grabbed him I was telling him that when I say its time to go, he needs to come with me, blah blah blah...he looks at me..very serious, puts his hand in my face (like on of those 'talk to the hand' type of things) and says, "SILENCE!" which sounded like siwence. NORMALLY I can keep it together, but this totally caught me off guard and I started laughing.

Yesterday was Veteran's Day and our daycare was closed. (don't even get me started on this) I couldn't get a sitter and Jason was in Canada so I stayed home with the evil monster. We got up around 9 (soooo nice) and Bowen went pee and said he needed some undies. So I grabbed his Spiderman boxer-briefs. (I love little boys in boxer briefs...er...in a total non-creepy way..they just look cute! Like little men! Shit...this isn't getting any better) SO he puts them on and starts singing, "Spiderman...spiderman..." and then says, "I WUV dat song." So cute. Then he wants me to put on Thomas. So I did. Then he starts humming (kinda off..but whatever) the Thomas theme song. SO cute. And when he is done says, "Mommy...I just WUV that song." Those moments are the good ones..he isn't wiping snot on me, groping me, saying cuss words, or destroying things. I love these moments..mostly because they are out of the norm for us, so you have to cherish them.

And this morning I was getting ready...had just got out of the shower and opened the bathroom door and Bowen was standing there. I thought he was in bed so I was totally caught off guard. Scared the Bejesus out of me. I gasped and jumped and Bowen smiled up at me and said, "Don't worry Mommy, I not a monster!" and then walked over to me and patted my leg and said, "Its ok...don't be scared." Gotta love the kid.

Ok...I re-read this..this post is LAME. Aside from the boob thing it sounds like our life is semi-normal. Here I thought I was this crazy parent living with a crazy demon child....there is no way my life can be this normal!! Before you know it I will be the head of the PTA and the room mom! (bahahahaha yeaaaaa right)

Random Shizzzz

Kids are so random. So today is just a blog of random shit that happened this weekend. I am sure there is more...but I have slept since then.

Yesterday Bowen was playing in his bedroom and I realized we needed to go to Target. So I went to get him and told him that I would buy him a toy if he went because I was just too tired to deal with the fight. He got all excited and said OK and ran to the door. This is what he had been doing in his room...changing his outfit. He was looking hot though.

He had on his red Thomas the Tank Engine pj pants, a tee shirt, then a blue plaid button down shirt on top, and his flip flops.

Some moms would have said he had to change...I offered him a hat..but he said no. (and the hat would have totally made the outfit)

Then last night I was folding laundry and he said, "Give me a kiss!". For my kid...this is weird...I normally have to beg for smoochers, or tell him I will only get him a cookie if he gives me a kiss. So I gave him a kiss and he went off to play. Then a few minutes later he came into my room and said, "I'm so happy your mine mommy!" Seriously..sweetest thing ever. He probably has no idea what the hell that means, but I sure love it.

And then there was this morning....I went in to wake up the beast (because thats what he is in the mornings) and he tells me, eyes still closed, "I can't wake up." I asked, "why not?" His reply, "There are snakes in my dredroom." I laughed and said, "what?" And he said, "Snakes, Mommy. In my dredroom. You have to kill them." And then rolled back over. Eventually he woke up and realized he had been dreaming....or that there were no snakes...either way..it was a good way to start the day.

And last but not least, we got to school this morning and of course, he wanted to be carried in. (let me tell you how dangerous this was, I am in platform 6 inch heels, carrying a bag, lunch box, keys, and a 40 pound kid) So I get him to the door and he yells, "Ouch!! YOU hurt mine PEEEENIS!!!" Umm...sorry kid...then he stomped to the door, lecturing me about not hurting his penis. Luckily, once we got inside he stopped talking about it, gave me a hug, and even said hey to the kids when they said, "Hi B-b-bowen!". (Like I said..good morning!!)

Oh kids...they are pretty entertaining. Sometimes I think we could even get rid of the cable, but then I remember that we wouldn't have a built in babysitter...I mean, we wouldn't be able to teach Bowen the wonders of the world. Who the hell am I kidding? Thank Jebus for Nick Jr and the Disney channel or I would lose my effing mind.

Table for Three

Above is a pic of me and Bowen at a restaurant...trying to eat breakfast...so imagine how he is when he is at home.....this leads me to my most recent debacle.

So back in the day...when my dad and stepmom got married...when it was just me and my little brother, Chance, we used to have dinner at the table every night. Then they had my little sister, Addison, and dinners at the table started slowing down and it was dinner where ever you wanted most of the time. THEN they accidentally got prego with my little brother, Declan, and then it was fend for yourself, eat where you want, don't get in trouble or make me yell at you. However, when we would go visit my mom, we almost always had dinner at the table. I kinda liked it. A lot of my friends had dinner at the dinner table and it always seemed so nice and normal. I always wanted to have family dinners when I had kids too.

When I got married me and the ex used to eat at the table...but as soon as Bowen popped into our lives, I usually ate standing up in the kitchen while making bottles or cleaning and he watched tv and ate. Then it was just me and Bowen and he ate on his little table and I ate standing up in the kitchen next to him. THEN we moved in with Jason. Jason once told me that he wanted to have dinner at the table like he did when he was growing up. We didn't have a table until just recently. And Bowen has developed this serious issue with food, so he normally snacks all night and me and J would do dinner in front of the tv. Not what either of us really want.

Then this weekend a miracle (or curse) happened. You know when you live in apartment complexes and someone moves out there is a great chance of them leaving their furniture outside. Well it was our lucky day and they did just that. There was a pretty decent table and chairs outside and it fit perfectly in our little dining area. So I made Jason get it. (its just a short term thing...SOON we will get a nice brand new table...don't judge me a-hole!)

We took it inside and upon further inspection, the two chairs suck, buuut they can be replaced. (wally world here I come) The table is a little scratched (probably seen one too many nights of quarters and beer pong, but that just means we can do it too and not feel bad about ruining the table!) but it isn't too bad. All in all, its a-ok! (especially in a house where it will certainly be destroyed by trains and/or make up and hair dye)

Last night we tried our first dinner at the table. It was not all that I had imagined. Bowen didn't want to eat (duh) and kept swinging the computer chair that is serving as his chair into the side of the table. Jason got up from the table twice to see what drama was happening on tv...and I was exhausted and 1.5 seconds away from ripping what little hair I have out of my head. Bowen didn't eat (even after I begged him to eat one fish stick so we could go get ice cream...mostly bc I really wanted some) and was obnoxious and yelling. SO it was not the hunky dory, happy family meal I had envisioned. But I am going to give it another try. Maybe bring out a placemat or three out...try to make it LOOK fun and nice.

Either way...we got ONE more piece of furniture to pile crap on. AND when we have Thanksgiving dinner, we can sit at a cutely decorated table. (ok the decorations probably won't happen, but I can hope) And maybe, just maybe, Bowen will start eating dinner like a normal kid!! Orrr maybe I will take up having a glass of wine with dinner just so I can make it through it. ;-)

The Wicked Witch of Kansas

Well...I survived through Halloween. Like I said before, its my fav time of year...so I tend to party hard...and I made it. However, I may not make it through this week. My mom, aka Nana, has been in town since Friday night. My sweet as sugar baby boy is this evil, demonic, bratty child now. Seriously!

Bowen is suuuch a mama's boy. And I LOVE it! I am used to getting snuggles and hugs and kisses whenever I want. But when his Nana is around, it does NOT happen. In fact, he hates me. All weekend him and Nana played trains and made haunted gingerbread houses and did arts and crafts. (It was kind of nice yesterday bc I felt like someone hit me with a semi..but anyways) I KNOW that grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandkids and leave them for their parents to deal with. Believe me...I hear this excuse a lot. BUT its bullshit! NOW I have to be the bad guy and make this kid get his shit..I mean act...together and be normal again.

Here is my situation, the kid is waaaay off his schedule. Last night he didn't pass out until 11 and his normal bed time is between 8 and 8:30. And he is NOW used to getting everything he wants and being waited on hand and foot. AND he has an attitude. So none of this is ok. I am PRAYING that tonight he is sleepy and will go to bed with me at 8..because I am still recovering..er..sleepy..

And hopefully he will take a nap at school so the 2 hours I have him at home with me won't be totally like hell week.

And the attitude. I can sport some attitude myself, so the kid learns from the best, but DAMN. Anytime I tried to walk into his bedroom he would stick his hand up and wave me off, tell me, "Get outta here! WEAVE my dredroom!" I didn't think this would happen until I had a teenage daughter. Obviously, I was way off. (like most things in my life) This morning he was snuggled up with his Nana in bed and I went to lay down beside him (seriously having snuggle withdrawals) and he told me I couldn't lay with him. I am a tough cookie, I can handle some shit, but he did sort of crack my heart a little. Thankfully, his Nana knows me, and talked him into letting me snug him for a minute. (Thanks mom..I really needed a Bowen snuggle)

And...now I know this is selfish...but we all know she comes to see Bowen. I am a pretty big mama's girl. Me and my mom are really close. Like we talk ALL the time. Email everyday during the day, usually call at night...so we are close. I used to see her every single day, so its tough now that we don't live anywhere near eachother. So I, of course, miss the mom/daughter bonding time. And unfortunately, they are always quick trips. So not only am I left with an evil monster child, but I miss my mom too!

But the worst is yet to come. Like anytime she visits, she drops him off at school before she hops on her broom...I mean plane..back to Kansas. So when I go pick him up today this is the first thing he will ask, "Where is my Nana?" and then I have to tell him that she went to her house in Kansas. And then he will get those big blue puppy eyes going and say, "I so sad...I miss my Nana." And then it will make me get big hazel puppy eyes...and its all downhill from there!

I love when my mom comes to visit, but she sure leaves a path of destruction when she heads home..and that path is named Bowen. Wish me luck ya'll!