Listen! I know what I am talking about!!!

Since becoming a mom I have received the best education ever. Unfortunately, instead of reading books and studying, everything I have learned has been done the hard way. For example, you should never ever ever ever, under any circumstances, ever take castor oil in order to go into labor. You will probably not go into labor...and you will hate life and be miserable..without any nice results (like a new bundle of joy). I have so many friends and family members that are having babies right now which has inspired this latest and greatest post. Below is my advice, my lessons learned, and my quick tips on being a parent.

*********DRUM ROLL PLEASE**********

**At some point everyone thinks that they are a bad parent. Mine began in the hospital. And continues almost daily. In the hospital my lovely little precious baby pooped. Which was good because I wanted to get the hell out of there. Unfortunately it was 4 am and our room was dark and that first poop is sort of like glue. So I missed the tiniest of specks. (NOT a big deal) So the nurse came in and took him away from me to weigh him for the 6 bajillionth time or somehting and like 20 minutes later came in with my burrito baby (what I call a swaddled baby) charging at me like a rhinocerous let loose. She showed me the speck of poo. (seriously...it was tiny) And then proceeded to tell me how horrible it is that I did not clean him properly, that these are things I MUST know before leaving, and how I can't be neglectful even if I am tired. So my first day as a mom I was neglecting my child!!! Dude...I had JUST squeezed this kid out..I was tired..and emotional...I cried. Now I look back on this and think about how I should have snatched the stupid wipe out of that ho-bag's hand while she demonstrated how to wipe my kids ass and told her off. OBVIOUSLY the kid lived. He is fine..he doesn't remember this and I am sure there have been other days when his ass needed wiped a little better, but hey..we live and learn (and sometimes buy Luvs) and get through it. Seriously...every parent feels bad about their parenting at some point. Our kids make it through it. Bowen's ass was just fine even though there was a speck of crap on it, he doesn't remember me overfeeding him when he really needed a paci, and he loves me even after he gets a spanking. You are a good parent. Chill out.

**Once you are pregnant you slowly begin to lose sleep. I think it is the body's way of preparing you for the numerous sleepness nights you will be getting for ATLEAST (more than likely plenty more) 18 years. Once baby is born I suggest that you nap when baby naps. Seriously. DO IT! I LOOOVE nap time. I love nap time more than Bowen loves Thomas..and that is a lot. After I had Bowen I used to think that I needed to stay up and do dishes or laundry or shower while he napped. Wtf was I thinking? I am still kicking myself in the ass for not sleeping when he did. Seriously..this laundry can probably wait a few more hours. (and you will learn to juggle baby and laundry and cleaning and cooking ALL at the same time soon enough) And the dishes will still be there. Enjoy the sleep! Because in about three years you will be begging, pleading, and offering lots of money for the kid to take a nap so you can nap.

**It is all a learning experience. Seriously you can read ALL the books you want and you are still going to have to figure out what works best for you. (Watson is a firm believer in books..he and I disagree on all books and whether they are helpful or not) The minute I saw the positive sign on a stick I had to pee on I went out and bought books on being pregnant...what to expect, funny books, pregnancy for dummies...you name it, I had it. And it did not help that much. Sure it was nice to know what a mucous plug was and what my alien looked like at every stage of the pregnancy. But it did not REALLY tell me what a Braxton-Hicks contraction was. (which means I went to the hospital a FEW more times than necessary) And it most certainly did not help me out when I was having massive contractions that were lasting 15 minutes. So..I am just saying...read all the books you want, but dear God please do not put too much stock into them. You can read The No Cry Sleep Solution 118 times and try it and it still may not work. (take it from me) Parenting is all about seeing and deciding what works for you and your kid. Dr. Spock is not living with you and does not know how you work and how sweet angel baby works...so I take his advice (and any other authors...this includes me) with a grain of salt...and sometimes a shot of tequila.

**It is definitely OK to ask for help. I am the world's worst ever at this. When Bo was born the ex was still my hubby and he was in Iraq. I was staying with my mom and stepdad, but I really felt like I need to do it ALL on my own. I was up for every single feeding. I was NOT napping when he was sleeping, I was trying to do everything all by myself. This led to me being really sick a week later. My mom said she knew something was wrong when I asked her to take care of the baby and then went to lay down. The fact of the matter is, being a parent is hard. And you are supposed to have a partner in it. BUT that doesn't always happen...story of my life. I think at some point you have to remember this and ask for a little help. I had my mom pick Bowen up from daycare when I was single so I didn't end up paying extra because I couldn't get there on time. This little thing made life SO much easier. I didn't have to worry if I got stuck in traffic and I didn't have to worry about the extra money. (Plus it allowed for a little down time on the way home) Ask for help. Ask someone to throw a load of laundry in the washer, ask someone to help with the dishes. ASK or it will never happen. Watson has reminded me that he is NOT a psychic...so I learned...ask or it won't happen...atleast in the fashion or time frame you think it should.

**Another thing moms (and dads) sometimes forget to do is take a little time for yourself. When I was married every thing revolved around Bowen and my man. EVERYTHING. I mean I woke up an hour before everyone else so I could get showered and ready, pack Bowen's bag, cook breakfast, wake the husband up, get Bowen ready..and get us all out the door in time for work. Seriously...wtf was I doing? NOW that shit doesn't happen...Watson can tell you. Anyways, I never spent money on me (not for new panties or make up or a nail polish). Then I left the husband and was single momming it and it got even worse!! I had a low paying job and lots of bills (lawyers and diapers ain't cheap) and every little bit I had went to Bowen. This led to me breaking down and becoming even more depressed than I already was and feeling a little pissy towards my child. (They drain you!!) So now I don't feel bad if I get a pedicure once in a while, or I buy a new shirt (granted everything I buy is on sale). Sometimes you need a break. Seriously..going to the grocery store ALONE is a break for me. Whatever you need to do..do it. You can't be a good parent unless you take care of you too!!

So the list could go on and on and on and on. And I could add to it daily. But for the sake of boring you to death I will leave it at this for now. Congrats to all my new parent friends! I am jealous and would LOVE to be sporting the baby belly again..but Watson wants to wait until we are married or some shit! (so conventional!) And get ready for the best (and sometimes worst) times of your lives. At the end of the day, look at your sleeping kiddos and be thankful, because not everyone can be blessed with them! And some day (when they are MUUUCH older) they will be thankful for you. (maybe...not making promises..I don't need that added to the already HUGE amount of mommy guilt)

Bad Ass Moms Have Feelings Too!

As I have mentioned before I am divorced. Which is a VERY good thing. And as much as I know..and tell myself every single day..that it is better for Bo-Neener this way, it still makes me worry about him. I am a child of divorce too. And it was rough. When I was married to the doucher, we always said we would never get divorced because we knew how shitty it was to grow up in a split family. And here we are...4 years after the days we said "I do"...divorced.

Atleast once a month I go through this omg-wtf-did I do to my poor baby thing and omg-I ruined his life and failed as a mom. And it always makes me sad and upset. And I have a feeling, not a whole lot is going to change over the years. But this weekend, Watson is gone...and Bowen was going through our apartment and pointing at all of our pictures and saying, "Mommy" when it was me, "Bowen" when it was him, and "Daddy" when it was Jason. Now we don't refer to Jason as Daddy..we just let Bowen call him whatever..which is usually Daysin. But Daddy has been coming out more and more lately. And really Jason is Bowen's daddy. He is the only male influence Bowen really has and Jason is really a dad. So I am telling Jason this and thinking "aww how sweet" and then Jason brings up how confusing it is going to be for Bo Neenee when the ex decides to come around and starts referring to himself as "daddy" and Bowen thinks Jason is daddy. Thanks for ruining my moment J. But he is right. And I of course said, yep..its going to be hard...but what can we do? And we have no idea when..or if ever...the ex will decide to come around on a regular basis. Easy to sound so strong and sure everything will be ok. So we ended the conversation, but of course, it didn't just go away for me.

How my divorce will affect Bowen has always worried me. ALWAYS. When my parents divorced I was like 3 or 4. So you would think I would think it was just normal or whatever. But up until I was like 12, every time I blew out the candles on my birthday cake, I wished for my parents to get back together. And since I had divorced parents, that is atleast 2 cakes a year...and lots of birthday wishes. Now..as an adult...I am glad they never did. I have an awesome stepmom, and a little brother and sister that I wouldn't have if they had gotten back together. And I definitely think it has made me a stronger person. But let me tell you..as a kid, it was rough. Every summer I was at my moms..which was a blast..but you go through the anxiety of leaving your normal life and your dad and stepmom and siblings, to going to your moms where everything else is different. And then 8 weeks later you switch again. And of course when you are a little kid your friends don't understand why you are leaving every other holiday or can't go hang out with them at the summer or why your mom doesn't live with you. Or never really knowing what happened because your parents have two different stories and you love them both SO much you don't know what to believe. And then there is the big one. No matter how many times your parents, counselor, friends, family...tell you that it is not your fault your parents got a divorce..at some point you think it was. Or you wonder if your other parent doesn't want you. Now remember..you are a kid..so this is your thought process. And now..as an adult..I see that no matter what the reason, their divorce was probably for the better. And it wasn't my fault. And there were definitely benefits of having divorced parents! (hello multiple birthdays and Christmases and Easters)

As a mommy...I am worried. I know how my ex's dad was...and he did the exact same, shitty thing the ex is now doing. Coming around once every 6 months or so and then hanging around for a day and leaving. Never being consistent with phone calls...never doing anything to maintain a relationship with his kid. It is so upsetting for me. In fact he was supposed to get his 42 days summer visitation this year and when he said he was going to take Bowen, I had a heart attack and anxiety attack and mental breakdown all at once. Bowen has always been with me. The only person he has been with overnight was my mom..and the most it was was 5 nights..and that was pushing it. And the ex knows NOTHING about my baby and what he wants or needs or does. So needless to say I called my lawyer and am still working on changing our visitation. But..really it is inevitable. Bowen will eventually feel some of the things I did as a kid. And since I am his mom..I never want him to hurt a day in his life.

Jason and I have gone through this a lot since we moved in together. So about 6 times in the last 6 months. And he always is so understanding and sweet and says that we will figure it out and Bowen will be ok. We just have to do our best to let him know we love him and yadda yadda yadda. Duh! OBVIOUSLY! Poor guy..he really tries. But, his parents aren't divorced. So he doesn't know. I do give him TONS of credit for all his support though. And for listening to me cry and yell and be pissed and upset and worried. But the question still remains...can you make your baby NOT feel like that? I mean I am 100% sure his dad will tell him a totally different story about what happened between us. And why he just couldn't come see him more. So there is bound to be some confusion, anger, tears..and that is what makes me sad.

I wish I had a crystal ball so I could be prepared..and prepare Bowen as much as possible for what is going to happen. I wish I could make it to where he never ever hurts a second of his life because of the divorce. But I am sure that it will happen. And it sucks. Bowen is the biggest blessing of my life. I can't imagine my life without him. And I might have missed out on the college experience and lots of nights out and not having a care in the world...but I wouldn't trade being his mommy for anything. I would rather change poopy diapers and watch cartoons and listen to whining ALL DAY LONG than go out at night and not have a sweet boy to come home to. And this is why I wish and pray every day that he doesn't have to go through those shitty times when it comes to the divorce.

I know that everything will be ok in the end. I know that. I went through all the things I worry about for Bowen and I am just fine and dandy. This is just my monthly, failing as a parent, worry. I think all parents want their kids to have the things they didn't and to miss out on the bad things they did go through...so this is just me doing that. And I hope that Bowen feels like I do when is grown and is happy his parents did what they did and realizes that he is loved.

So I vented...and feel a little better. I am sure an upbeat, happy, funny, post will be up today to follow this depressing one. Just had to vent for a second. Hey even bad ass mommy's like me are allowed a pity party ever once in a while.

Please Shut Up!

There are a lot of things people don't tell you when you are expecting a child. And then again, there are a lot of things people do tell you (especially after your monster is born) that is unnecessary and/or unwanted.

For those of you who don't know me that well, I am stubborn. (Or so I am told) I also am very opinionated. (Who? Me?!) So most of this "advice" is completely unwanted and royally pisses me off.

What brings all of this up is that today I have to talk my precious angel to get shots since he just turned 3. When I had Bowen I just thought shots were a part of life...and something you did. Until I got talked to about how shots are causing children problems like autism and ruining lives. Well...I got shots as a kid..and I am perfectly normal (heavy on the perfect, easy on the normal). But, as a new mom, this sent me into a frenzy! I mean I did not want to be the one to blame for screwing up my kid. So I talked to my bestie, who didn't get shots and didn't want to get her kids shots. I probably even did some research. And then I called my parents...because that is what you do! My parents are very pro-shots and they eased my fears. I mean I don't want my kid to die of mumps or rhubella, especially when it could be prevented. AND they even have a shot nowadays (not available when I was a kid) for chicken pox, which is one less shitty thing I would have to deal with as a mother. Anyways, I made it through my first encounter (of many) of the evil ones. (AKA the moms/parents/grandparents/strangers who like to give out advice) And Bowen still gets shots...and for all of those who are anti-shots...ya'll can suck it..and not give your kids shots, but this mama is still doing it.

I am a young mom, so I have a ton of run ins with the evil ones, I guess bc they think I need MORE guidance. (Those bitches) One of my other early encounters was regarding the paci! Omg I LOVED (and miss) the pacifier! I never had a paci and neither did my little brothers or sisters. My parents made me think they were unecessary and stupid. (wtf were they thinking?) So B-Nasty as a baby used to whine for a bottle so of course I gave it to him. Then he would puke it all up. This only happened for like a week. And my mom told me, well he might need a paci! So I tried it. And he LOVED it. And I LOVED it. Those things are f'ing amazing!!! He whines, pop a paci in. He cries, pop a paci in. He is going to sleep, pop a paci in. But of course, there were the ones who told me it was ruining my child's teeth. Or tell me shame on me. (F you lady, you want to be awake with him all night? Didn't think so) And like I said, I was a single mom. So during teething times and times when he was just plain fussy, this miraculous plastic nipple type thing, was a life saver. I didn't lose my mind...thus saving B's life. So I say...if you want to use the paci..do it. It is MUCH easier to take that away then a thumb. (which I sucked..forever) And I am proud to announce, it is relatively easy. We took Bowen's away and have been without them for a few months...and everyone lived through it.

Omg my personal favorite of the mommying debate is breastfeeding or bottle feeding. (Me and Watson debate this like once a month..and we aren't even expecting) When B-Nasty was just a wee little shrimp in my belly, I decided I would breastfeed. It was supposed to be bonding, after all. So I took out my piercings (sadly) and bought the nipple cream and breast feeding books. LAME. About 2-3 months before he was to be hatched, I decided I was NOT going to ruin my boobies any more than they already were. And it was SO weird having someone suck on me at all times. AND no one else would be able to help me do it. AND those breast pumping machines seem like some medieval torture device (there is NO reason a nipple should ever stretch that far). Like I said...I had decided. So B-Nasty FINALLY decides to arrive. My first day in the hospital the damn Le Leche League skanks kept asking why I wouldn't breast feed my baby. I nicely responded, "I just don't feel comfortable doing it." And then they would go on and on and on and ON and ON about how much better it was for him and how natural it was. Finally, that night, one came in. I was happily feeding B a bottle of formula..and he seemed to be enjoying it. And SHE started in on how horrible it is for me to feed him formula. So I said (maybe a little forcefully), "Then YOU pop out a boob and feed him!" She left. Thank JESUS! My kid was 8 lbs 5 oz when he was born. I have an A cup. He would have starved!! B-Nasty is now 3...and healthy..looks like a line backer. And we are SO close, we didn't need a boob in a mouth to be bonded. For all those who feel pressured to breast feed, don't let them pressure you. Do what YOU want to do. The energy sucking-stretch mark giving-body ruining child will make it JUST fine.

So there are TONS of things people are going to give you "advice" on as a parents. To spank or not to spank. (I spank...I refuse to let my child be an evil heathen...PLUS its my choice) To co-sleep or not to co-sleep. (We co-slept. And he still gets in bed with me. And I love it and would NEVER change it) To daycare or not to daycare. (I didn't want to, but had to. And now I loooove his daycare, and he is SO effing smart) To let them watch TV or not. (Dude, The Little Einsteins have been a lifesaver before) And so on and so forth. The Evil Ones are out there..waiting..watching..ready to make you their next victim. But I am ready too! With a jab and a kick in the shin. Of course it still pisses me off and annoys me when they offer their "advice", but at the end of the day I know I am a good mommy (a DAMN good mommy, if I do say so myself) so they can kiss my big ass. My rule of thumb now is to never offer parenting advice unless asked. I ask people sometimes (Watson and I have asked everyone about potty training), but it is still up to us to decide how we do things. And everyone has their own way of doing things, and there is no rule book on how to bring up a child, and you just have to do what works for you. And that...is my mommy advice of the day.

It Ain't Always Easy...But It's Always Worth It!

There are definitely a few positives to being a single mom. Let me list a few...

1. No sports EVER have to be on TV
2. You don't have to cook..ever.
3. No one is snoring in your ear creating more sleep for you
4. If you yell at your kid no one is there to look at you like you are crazy
5. You and your baby can lay in pajamas all day, never leave the house, eat crap, and watch movies and no one complains or suggests other things to do
6. You never have to re-organize the dishwasher, kitchen, living room, bathroom...well anywhere...bc you are the only one cleaning it and putting stuff in, on, or around it
7. There is a lot less laundry

There are more...but I don't want Watson to read this and get too worried.

I have been a single mom for almost all of B-Nasty's life. I think his father-like thing and I were together for almost 5 months after he was born. So really it has been just me and him forever. So when Watson and me and B became a family..it was a big change. For us all...I think I was just more..vocal (emotional even?) about it.

Poor Watson has been through a lot the last 6 months. I got rid of everything..and I mean everything when we moved in together. So our first issue was the fact that I felt like I was living in someone else's house. And Watson and I have VERY different tastes in furniture and decoration. (I think I told him our house was shit colored...in my defense..there is a LOT of brown) Then there was the morning issues. B-Nasty and I are NOT morning people. Watson is a morning person (damn OLD people!). Omg I wanted to KILL him in the mornings. He was SO happy. Always wanting to talk, listen to music, dance around. And I hadn't even had my Diet Pepsi yet!! So we had to get used to eachother...all of us. (B-Nasty still refuses to be friendlier in the mornings, but most of the time Watson remembers not to talk, touch, look at, or dance near him) On a more serious note, Watson had to sit through me going through a biopsy. Actually...we had to go through one crappy dr..wait for results...go to a new dr...wait for results..then go do the biopsy, so like 2 months of worrying and waiting. Gotta say...it meant a lot for him to be there and hold my hand through that. And we are still going through another legal battle with my ex. After one fight about it, we now usually agree. There have been many a issue about little things (me not putting lids on correctly) and even bigger things (different outlooks on life), but we have managed to keep it together somehow. (It is kind of a miracle)

So Watson really deserves a lot. (I mean I cook and clean and do laundry...and we sleep in the same bed...sooooo he gets that, I mean what more could he want?) But let me tell you, there are very few men who want to take on me, my ailments, my ex, and my lovebug of a boy. And this year was his first fathers day!

My perfect plan for his fathers day would be for us to be at a resort in Cancun (or Cabo or Cozumel) and child free. (I said it was perfect) However, since we all live together, poor Watson's funds have been low (and lets face it...I have never had any to spare). So he got a daddy's day filled with cards (Dude, wtf...cards are like 4 bucks a pop now..Hallmark is making a killing) and meals paid for..by him. He DID get a few hours alone, relaxing at the pool, while B-Nasty and napped. And even a burnt orange cooler with a Longhorn on the side. (Blehh I hate the longhorns) Oh and a book. So I mean...it could have been worse. (we could have done nothing for him) But to be real honest, I don't know WHAT to do for a dad. I have always been mom AND dad, and a pedicure or some shoes would work JUST fine for me. I wish it could have been a little more special and creative. (In my defense I was out of town ALL weekend and flew in that morning to spend the day with him) but even then I don't know if I could have let him really, truly, know how much he means to me and B and how great of a dad he is.

So...I am going to tell it to the world. Watson is an awesome dad and here is why!

1. He is not B's real dad, but he loves him like his own
2. He has put more pics of B on his facebook in the last 8 months, than of anyone else (which...as stupid as it is..melted my heart a little)
3. He stayed with B-Nasty all weekend and we are potty training
4. B peed on him this weekend and he did not get mad
5. He is coaching B's soccer team
6. He likes to snuggle with B when B gets in our bed (ooops...this was prolly supposed to be a secret)
7. He researches and asks for advice on new issues we have with B (like potty training)
8. He went to daycare and checked on B when he had his first day there
9. Did I say he genuinely loves him???

There are a million more reasons why Watson is a great dad. Like tons. But I refuse to be too sentimental in front of everyone...and it is probably boring for you.

So here is to Watson! My AM energized, brown furniture loving, tap water drinking boyfriend! Thanks for always being there for me and being a wonderful dad to my son! He loves you (even if he doesn't tell you on a regular basis) and I think you will make an awesome father to our other children (whenever it is I can talk you into knocking me up again!)! I know there are probably times you want to go back to your easy going, single, child free life...but we love you and wouldn't go back to our lazy, yelling filled, junk food life style for anything.

Potty Training Is The Sh*ts

We are potty training. And it is exhausting! Exhausting!!!!!! Yesterday I spent half of the day trying to figure out if my son was the only kid who refuses to go number two when they potty train and what the answer is to this problem. I did find out that many a child has a problem dropping a deuce when potty training begins (Thank sweet baby Jesus! Like we need anything else to make us stand out) However, I got no REAL answers on how to get him to do the poo, except maybe read him a few books. (rrrright)

Whatever..I am a good mom. I decided to look for books. I did..I looked at books and read their reviews. There is a book called "Everyone Poops" that has different animals that have pooped, and you get to lift the flaps to reveal their poo mounds! Yay! I can only imagine what the elephant's doodie looks like! I read reviews on "Potty Time" (not to be confused with party time, I have a feeling its not), "The Potty Train" (where the train says CHOO CHOO POO POO), and "Where Did My Potty Go?" (right where I left it kid). All the reviews said the same thing. They were cute (how is crap cute?) but didn't teach any real elements of using the potty chair. Well why the eff would I, or anyone else for that matter, read about puddles of piss and crap if they didn't have to? Books were out of the question!

THEN there was the potty watch. A watch that looks like a toilet seat and plays a little tune every 3o minutes to let your kid know its time to sit on the potty chair. SIGH Ask Watson, I never set a timer for anything...ever. And Bowen rarely keeps anything on for 30 minutes. This obviously was not going to work either.

After 3 hours of this shit...literally..I decided my eyes had been assaulted enough. And it was time to go get Bowen.

Bowen had not had any accidents that day at school. This was awesome considering it was our 4th day potty training. But they had him in a diaper when I picked him up...because they were hoping he would poop. (We were on day 4 of no doodies people, this was serious) So I took him home, put him in undies and gave him some prune juice. All night long (ok from 6-8) I asked "Do you need to go potty?" In fact that is all I did...and wait for the moment he was ready. By 8 the kid FINALLY took a leak. I mean seriously, his bladder must be gallon sized, because I know I peed atleast 4 times in those two hours. So we had no accidents that night either. Holla!!!

And one more thing...no one tells you that potty training makes your morning and night routine take FOREVER! (with repeats of forever like they do it on the Sandlot) That night I spent atleast 20 minutes trying to get him to pee before he got in the tub. Then after bath time another 10 trying to get him to pee before bed. Then of course, the next morning I oveslept. BUT he pooped! Thank GOD!!! Hallelujah. I was beginning to worry that his pretty blue eyes were about to turn brown because of the overload. So I did what I had read and changed the diaper and put the poop in the potty chair, while gagging, and explained this is where poop goes. While I am nearly vomiting, and putting the poop in the toilet, Bowen walks in to the bathroom, with pee dripping down his legs. Oh but of course this would happen NOW!! So then I spent 20 minutes (and we were already 10 mins late) trying to get him dressed and in undies. The kid wanted a diaper..and he was for real. After 20 minutes of him screaming, and kicking my boobies, and throwing things, I decided f it...you win, have the damn diaper. We made it to daycare and I told them there were underwear in his bag and literally ran from the building. Good luck ya'll!

Then Watson calls. (he had been out of town) He thought my potty training misery was HILARIOUS! And then reminded me that he was going to have B-Nasty all by himself this weekend, and I am only dealing with him at night and in the morning. Shut up Watson! My answer to him was...fine we will keep him in diapers forever. MEN!

WTF Am I Doing?

I love the title of this first post. It goes along with my mindset most of the time. This is my first experience blogging. Hence then wtf am I doing.... But every day, I think that atleast once. (sometimes when things are being thrown at me, or I am being headbutted, or I am washing my hair...depends on the day) I am the mother of a 3 year old. We'll call him B-Nasty (his hip hop name). I am currently living in SIN (and loving it) with my boyfriend of a year and a half, Watson. Here is a little background info...

I am 23, divorced, and a mother of one. I like tattoos, piercings, rock music, and stripper heels. I also have been known for my potty mouth and yelling.

My bf, Watson, is 31. (I like em older!) B-Nasty and I moved to Las Vegas (Sin City..how fitting) and are now living with Watson. It has been...interesting, comical, depressing, and a learning experience for us all. Poor Watson probably had NO idea what he was getting himself into. Now he thinks a day with no throwing of large toys (especially ride-able Thomas the Tank Engines) is a good day. And he is getting used to the yelling matches between B-Nasty and I.

B-Nasty is my sweet angel, love biscuit of a boy. And he is all boy. He sports a mohawk (though none of the family approves) and nine times out of ten has multiple tattoos on his body. He yells and throws fits and is sometimes a little devil. BUT we love him...and if anything else he is usually more entertaining than cable. Usually.

Ahhh....so THAT my friends, is the skinny on the family. I will be adding more info and stories of events that go on in our Beaver Cleaver-esque home.