The Burrito and The Babe

So..this is a few days late...but once you read, you will understand that I was just too tired to post anything.

I believe every parent deserves a night out. A night out that includes a drink or two or three. As long as the kids are safe and sound and taken care of..duh. So here is my tale of going out..and the next morning.

Saturday night I went out with some friends. We started out at Miller's Ale House, where I did not enjoy any ale, but did enjoy a fruity vodka and schnapps filled drink, then three captain and diets. (Umm..I was parched. Don't judge me.) THEN we decided to take a walk the strip. Honestly, I was kinda excited because I have really only walked the strip once and it was during the day.

While walking the strip a friend of a friend was getting those nudee baseball type cards that they hand out. Why..I have no idea. Anyways, SOMEHOW about 20 of them ended up in my purse without me noticing.

We ended the night relatively early and went home. I didn't have any reason to check my purse for anything so I still had not noticed the star covered ta-ta's hiding in my purse.

The next morning Bowen woke me up by poking me in the eye. It was 7:30. I went to bed at 4. I tried getting him to poke Jason in the eye...he did...Jason rolled over. I tried waking Jason up. He didn't. SO (unlike Jason) I sucked it up and got my aching head and feet out of bed to handle the ridiculously happy child.

So we get up and I am sitting on the couch, rehashing the nights events with a friend and realize if I am going to make it through the morning I am definitely going to need something greasy for breakfast. At 9:30 I had to wake Jason up and figured I'd try to drag him to breakfast with me. Jason wasn't having it. (the Rangers were playing in half an hour..so I understand..but we have TiVo..asshole) Anyways, I decide Bowen and I were going to go get a breakfast burrito and that was that.

Bowen and I were a hot mess. I had some baggy capris on that I wore when I 39 months pregnant, a hat, glasses, and last nights smeared make up. Bowen atleast had matching pj's but no shoes. Whatever...it was Roberto's...not a five star restaurant. So we walk in and go place our order. When the cashier tells me how much it is I reach into my purse for my wallet and out fly 25 nudee baseball cards. The cashiers face had a look of disgust/horror. And I am pretty sure my jaw dropped onto the counter. Then Bowen, who was sitting on the counter, picked up a card and asks, "Mommy, why her have stars on her boobs?"

So you see...there was no way I could recover. I couldn't brush it off and say, "It was a good night." because NOW my 3 yr old was holding a hooker's business card!!! I swiped all the cards back into my purse, paid the lady, took my burrito, and child, and ran.

THANKFULLY, Bowen did not have any more questions on that buxom babe's bod, because I bribed him with a coke. And he is 3...so..its not like he will be scarred or anything..BUT I, on the other hand, cannot ever go back into Roberto's. Thankfully, there is a Fausto's right across the street.