I Have A Kid (surprise, surprise)

Over the last few months it has become painfully clear that my baby is not a baby anymore. He is definitely a kid. (not even a toddler...a kid) It amazes me that just 6 months ago he was wearing diapers, always had a paci in his mouth, and not only expected, but NEEDED me to do basically everything for him. Let me tell you...a whole hell of a lot has changed.

Bowen is finally potty trained. Thank sweet baby Jesus! Its like having a raise. Now we only need a diaper at bed time and nap time and some times we can re-use them because he doesn't always pee in them. It is fan-frikkin-tastic! Plus I love seeing him run around in boxer briefs. He is like a little man!! (especially when he starts grabbing his junk...like wtf...we know its there guys, it didn't just disappear, leave it alone for a few)

You know, I was so excited for the independent stage so I could have a break. I was stoked to think that at some point I could tell Bowen to turn off his light, or pick up his toys, and he could do it without help. What I wasn't thinking of was how much longer everything takes. Now he wants to choose what he wears. (usually its just his undies, thank God) So I hold up two pairs...every morning its, "Bowen, batman or spiderman?" and he stands there, "Bowen...batman or spiderman...hurry up!"...more standing...and then this, "Spwiderman". And then he wants to put them on himself. First he puts both legs in one hole, I offer to help, he says no. Then he gets them inside out...once again I offer to help...nope. FINALLY he gets them right side out and both legs in both holes, but they are on backwards. I don't argue though because at that point 10 minutes have wasted away. He usually chooses a shirt...he doesn't care what pants he wears, he would definitely prefer not to wear any. (can't say that I blame him) I love that he is doing things on his own. Like before we leave for school he turns of the lights and the tv. He can be helpful, ya'll! But damn....sometimes you oversleep, haven't had a sip of caffeine, and these "wonderful" things take 20 minutes too long and you're at the end of your rope. (or is this just me?)

And one of the best things is that the kid can tell you shit...like shit you need to know AND it makes sense. Don't get me wrong, he still has the baby accent thing...you know what I am talking about...instead of chocolate milk its chwockwat milk, but you can actually communicate with him. The other night he had a tummy ache, know how I knew? HE TOLD ME!! He kept rolling around in bed and whining and I was pretty concerned so I asked him what was wrong (after I tried snuggling him and loving him) and he said, "My tummy hurts!" Swear to God, the heavens opened and the angels sang. Then it was just a matter of me fixing it. (wtf do you give a 3 yr old with a tummy ache? Pretty sure its not pepto, right?...I gave him prune juice...just asking though) And then the other night I gave him chicken nuggets and french fries for dinner and not only did he say thanks but then he asked me for ketchup! (the ketchup is new..he never asks for that..another sign of a kid)

It really didn't HIT me that he was a kid until this weekend when we busted out the home videos. We recorded Bowen singing the ABC's (so effing cute) and twinkle twinkle and then watched some of the stuff we had on the camera. OMG...I cried...like a total biotch. I mean there he was just 7 months ago, paci in mouth, shorter, rollier, talking to me about his "goldfish" we just bought him. SO adorable. And BABY-like. Now he smacks me and tells me to get him a cookie and when I stand up he is half my height. It is ridiculous how time flies. It seems like yesterday I was laying in a hospital bed crying because I didn't want to try to push the damn thing out anymore. And NOW he is a walking, talking force to be reckoned with. (no idea who he gets that from) Where has the time gone? And now I am sitting here getting all sentimental and teary eyed and counting down the hours till I can go to daycare and have him run up to me yelling "MY MOMMYS HERE" and give me hugs...damn kids ruin you.

Keep It In Your Pants, Kid!

The blog is back people!! Whooohooo! Oh...you're not that excited? Damn...well the hiatus is over. And it wasn't because I wanted to take one, but I had to. But what is really important is that it is back in action.

So where to begin???? So much has happened. Ok not really..its not like our lives are THAT full of fun and excitement.

Well....one thing that I wished I could have shared was Bowen's first "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" moment. It went a little something like this......

Jason was out of town for two weeks, so of course this would happen when I was all alone and had no idea how to deal. I went to pick Bowen up one day after school like usual. The normal teacher was there and then Miss Justice was there...she is usually gone by then, but I thought maybe they had just been busy or something. So I pick Bowen up and am ready to walk out the door when I hear this....

"Sarah...I stayed late because something happened with our kids."

Instantly I got all sweaty and flushed and started thinking the worst things imaginable. I managed to say...ok...what happened.

"Well..it was during nap time and I was trying to get one kid to go to sleep, so most of my attention was focused there. I didn't even see this happen, but Miss Terry walked in and saw my daughter with her pants down showing Bowen her goods and Bowen pulling down his pants..."

Ummm...wtf.

"I have no idea why she would do this! I mean, her dad and I are never intimate in front of her or anything! I am soooo embarrassed and sorry!"

I was in shock. I mean 3 years old!?!? I thought this happened when they were like 6 or something!

"Miss Terry walked in and saw it and we both explained to Tina and Bowen that we keep our privates covered up in our clothes and we aren't supposed to show them to anyone. Anyways, I am really embarrassed about all of this...I just wanted to let you know what happened."

So I finally speak up...sorta..because I don't know how to handle this. "Well..it was bound to happen I guess. Sorry your daughter had to be disappointed with her first look at manhood. Oh well...its always something right?"

And I grabbed Bowen and went to the car. I mean...wtf. Seriously. I know kids are curious and all that jazz. Bowen's hand is always down his pants..so I should have been expecting this. But of course, I thought I had a few years to prepare myself. Maybe we need to start discussing the birds and the bees??? (kidding of course)