I'm So Vain, The Song Is About Me

I am one of those people who thinks they are prepared for everything. For example, the SAT's in high school...I thought I had that shit down and didn't need to study. I was wrong. And I have completely erased my terrible score from my memory. Or another example, taking care of babies. I thought I knew all about them since I was the oldest sister of four. My kid was over eating and puking for like two weeks when he was a newborn. I couldn't figure out what the hell was wrong with him, then I finally realized he just needed a binky (after my mom told me). Anyways, before we delve too deep into the plethora of shit I have thought I was prepared for, but really wasn't, let's just get to the point. I thought I was prepared to have no hair. I was wrong.

I have had a huge wake up call on this whole lack of hair thing. For two months I told people, "Oh it is just hair...it'll grow back." I even said, "It is a small price to pay compared to what these kids go through." And while I still honestly believe both of these things, I also truly believe I look heinous.

I am not a cute bald chick. I definitely look like a boy. Thank God I am seeing someone or my chances of getting laid would go from the previous (being the pre-Jeremy) 12% to, at the very least, -12%. But that is neither here nor there.

So funny thing happened....as I mentioned before in my last blog, the big man at the office, Dana White, made a huge donation of $5000.00. I finally ran into him and was wearing a wig and he was like..what the hell? So it took it off and showed him my bald head. He loved it. He hated the wig. He was super cool and told me that I had a great head. (I've heard this a few times. Wtf did ya'll think my head was going to look like? Caved in on one side? lol) Anyways, I told him that I felt like a boy...he told me I did not look like a boy and rocked the look (pretty sure he was playing with my emotions! lol) and if he didn't think so he wouldn't say that. Then told me how cray it was for him to shave his head for the first time. Anyways..he told me no more wigs. So..I walked outside and put my wig back on. I was embarrassed!! lol Then he came outside and told me to take it off. So I did! (You don't want Dana pissed at you.) More conversation came about and basically he told me he made a huge donation so he says he better not see me in a wig at work. And I couldn't argue at all. SO since then...no wigs at work. And it is SO hard!! lol (But then I was upstairs outside his office today and he told me that he liked to see the no wig look, then rubbed my head, so it is obviously worth it!)

This very same day that Dana got on me about wearing wigs, the movie My Sister's Keeper (the book was even more amazing btw) came on and as sad as it makes me, I have to watch it every time it is on. When it came to the part where the main character didn't feel pretty (as she was trying to pick out a dress for a dance) it kind of hit me that I was being a little bitch. I mean this is probably how thousands of girls feel!! So I felt super guilty and it kind of put things back into perspective.

NOW...I still really dislike my lack of hair and feel really self conscious. BUT I know it is going to grow back, so I am feeling better about it. I really didn't think it would bother me that much, but it really has. So I am definitely not as great of a person as everyone thought I was. When I start to feel like shit about my head, I remember all the little boys and girls who don't have a choice and are sick on top of everything else and think they look ugly....when really..they are the true heroes and most beautiful people ever.

On the positive side...on days like today when I wake up 15 minutes before I need to leave the house, the lack of hair really helps!! Also...I am saving a TON of money on hair products, cuts, and colors. Money that can go towards high heels. Which we all know I need more of.