Tuesday, June 14th, at 10:12 am central time...my beautiful little boy turned four years old. FOUR! Ok...first of all..this makes me feel old. Second of all...where the fuck did time go? And thirdly...thank Jesus he doesn't expect a big party and whatnot.
It literally seems like yesterday that I was huge pregnant and crying at the gyno's office because he wouldn't sweep my membranes and get the kid out of my body. ((not what you were expecting?)) I can't believe it has been 4 years since I held him for the first time and bawled when the hospital did his pku tests. I can't believe I have been a ma..mom..mama..and mommy for four whole years. I can't believe he is alive and healthy after four years in my care!! ((just kidding...I actually never doubted myself in this area))
Bowen and I have a seriously tight bond. He was my little miracle baby and we have been through a lot of shit together. We are SO much alike and, at times, he really grates on my nerves...but he is the only thing that gets me through life. Bowen is my little angel on Earth..and though he seriously tests my patience...I absolutely cannot imagine not having him in my life.
I have heard that there is no bond like the bond between a mother and her child and I never fully understood it until I knew I was having him. And now I understand why moms can lift cars off of their children who are trapped underneath them and kill people who do harm to their kid. Bowen has made suuuuch a huge impact on my life (and not just financially) and I hope one day he feels the same about me.
I don't want to get too mushy and out of control...but my baby isn't really a baby anymore. And though I am so excited to see what the next year brings and watch him continue to grow and learn and develop...I am also a little sad that sooner rather than later, I will just be an annoying mom who doesn't get smoochers and snuggles. So for the time being I am going to smother him in snuggles and smoochers and relish every sweet second. Because I don't have a baby anymore, I have a big, four year old boy!
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